There are always two of these on two platforms that are at different heights. 
They almost constantly throw hammers at you and jump up and down switching platforms. You get these nice big arcs of hammers going across the screen and there’s no way you can predict where they are going to go, making it almost impossible to get by without getting hurt. Why can't there just be one of them? That would be hard enough.
They almost constantly throw hammers at you and jump up and down switching platforms. You get these nice big arcs of hammers going across the screen and there’s no way you can predict where they are going to go, making it almost impossible to get by without getting hurt. Why can't there just be one of them? That would be hard enough.Name: Flame/Frost Atronach 
Game: Morrowind
Game: Morrowind
There’s not really much to say about these except they shoot a ball of whatever element at you, it causes damage over time and you die. That’s about it. Yeah, one attack and you’re dead. It takes forever to level-up to a point where you can actually take on one of these.
Name: Redead
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (and other zeldas)
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (and other zeldas)
These are basically zombies with a few key differences. If you get too close to them they scream and you freeze for a few seconds. During your immobilization, they move towards you and if they get close enough well… they rape you. What’s annoying aside from being raped is when you’re frozen you’re going “No! No! No! No! No! No!” the whole time hoping it won’t get close enough and you’ll escape the impending rape. Also, if you’re really unlucky, it’s possible to be gang-raped.
Name: Fetish
Game: Diablo 2
Game: Diablo 2
I’ve never heard of someone having an aggravation fetish. This picture actually 
depicts a fetish shaman. Just imagine the two guys separate and those are fetishes. This is I think the most hyperactive enemy ever. They run around and blow darts and attack you with spears. The thing is you’ll just be walking along and boom, there will be like a dozen of them on your ass. They’re so small you’d think they’d be easy to kill but no. And when you’re about to kill one, what does it do? It runs away, the little bitch. Sometimes you might not even see them again. In a large group, kill the shaman first because if you don’t it just resurrects all of the ones you kill. How annoying.
depicts a fetish shaman. Just imagine the two guys separate and those are fetishes. This is I think the most hyperactive enemy ever. They run around and blow darts and attack you with spears. The thing is you’ll just be walking along and boom, there will be like a dozen of them on your ass. They’re so small you’d think they’d be easy to kill but no. And when you’re about to kill one, what does it do? It runs away, the little bitch. Sometimes you might not even see them again. In a large group, kill the shaman first because if you don’t it just resurrects all of the ones you kill. How annoying.Name: “Night-vision Guard”
Game: Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
Game: Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
The whole time while playing an SC game you’re mentality is something like *Oh yeah, I’m a splinter cell! You can’t see me and I’m using technology far beyond your comprehension. You can‘t touch me!* Then you come across some bad guys with the exact same shit that you have and all of a sudden it’s not cool anymore. You can’t fricking sneak up on these guys because if you can see them they can see you. But the whole point of the game is sneaking. Having a fire fight with someone always gives you the disadvantage because there’s no quick responsive aiming system and there’s no running and shooting. There’s just stand still, aim, and get shot to death.
Name: Raven
Game: The Resident Evil Series
Game: The Resident Evil Series
It doesn’t do much damage and it takes one shot to kill. Well that doesn’t sound too bad… Think again. That one shot could take 20 rounds to do. Usually you 
don’t need to kill them like in the hallway in the second RE. You just run through and hopefully you don’t get hurt. But in the first Resident Evil there’s one or two in the gallery puzzle room. So what are you going to do? Solve the painting puzzle while this bird pecks out your eyes? No, you need it dead. The problem is that your character has a really hard time aiming at it. If you don’t get it on the first shot when it’s in a linear flight pattern it’s likely that it’s going to take a lot more bullets once it starts swarming around your head. The only way to get it on the first shot is to already know it’s there so go back and do it again. Trust me, you don’t want to spend the bullets because Resident Evil *is not* going to compensate you.
don’t need to kill them like in the hallway in the second RE. You just run through and hopefully you don’t get hurt. But in the first Resident Evil there’s one or two in the gallery puzzle room. So what are you going to do? Solve the painting puzzle while this bird pecks out your eyes? No, you need it dead. The problem is that your character has a really hard time aiming at it. If you don’t get it on the first shot when it’s in a linear flight pattern it’s likely that it’s going to take a lot more bullets once it starts swarming around your head. The only way to get it on the first shot is to already know it’s there so go back and do it again. Trust me, you don’t want to spend the bullets because Resident Evil *is not* going to compensate you.Name “Flying Ninja” 
Game: Shinobi
Game: Shinobi
I couldn’t find a picture so just imagine one of the green guys on the ground is black, has big bat wings, and is pissing you off. Man these are great! It’s so convenient how they only show up when you’re wall-running over a pool of acid, a torrent of water, or a bottomless pit. Then they ram into you and you fall off and die. I just love this game.
Name: Spawn
Game: Quake
Game: Quake
All they are is these little bouncing blue blobs. They’re really fast and chase you around lunging at you. If you don’t shoot them before they touch you, they blow up and hurt you. If you do shoot them before they touch you, they blow up and hurt you anyway. Isn’t that special?Name: Troll
Game: Neverwinter Nights
Game: Neverwinter Nights
First of all, they all seem to have Downs Syndrome or at least ADD. One arm is perpetually curled up against their torso and the other one just sort of flails 
around and that’s how they attack you. I swear sometimes they look over at the wall while they’re fighting you like they’re distracted or they just aren’t taking it seriously. The worst thing about them is that they are regenerating. Now since, you’re playing NWN you’re character is going to suck already. Fighting an enemy that regenerates establishes a perfect equilibrium where nothing is accomplished until you have a critical hit. It takes forever to kill them and the fact that they look retarded while battling you just adds to the frustration. There’s only one way to fight a troll and that’s while making grilled cheese sandwiches. Seriously, engage your attack and then leave the computer. Go make food or do a sudoku.
around and that’s how they attack you. I swear sometimes they look over at the wall while they’re fighting you like they’re distracted or they just aren’t taking it seriously. The worst thing about them is that they are regenerating. Now since, you’re playing NWN you’re character is going to suck already. Fighting an enemy that regenerates establishes a perfect equilibrium where nothing is accomplished until you have a critical hit. It takes forever to kill them and the fact that they look retarded while battling you just adds to the frustration. There’s only one way to fight a troll and that’s while making grilled cheese sandwiches. Seriously, engage your attack and then leave the computer. Go make food or do a sudoku.
They float around in their little *happy* clouds and follow you through the entire level while bombing you with either bombs or spiny enemies. Because just going through the level isn’t challenging enough. You need some bastard up in a cloud that’s constantly throwing shit at you! You can’t even kill them. In the Mario games it’s next to impossible to do anything to him because he’s so high up. In Yoshi Island you can hit him with an egg but what’s the point? They always come back.
Name: Undead Archer
Game: God of War
Game: God of War
These are so bad, the game has a special ability almost specifically for killing 
them. Before you get that however, it’s a giant pain in the ass. The first time you see them they’re on these pedestals and you have to push a box all the way to them so you can climb on top of it and kill them. You get the box closer and they shoot it. The box explodes and then they shoot you. You have to go back and get the respawned box and do it again. Then do it about fifty more times if you live that long. Come on, I’m just trying to push a box! Quit screwing around!
them. Before you get that however, it’s a giant pain in the ass. The first time you see them they’re on these pedestals and you have to push a box all the way to them so you can climb on top of it and kill them. You get the box closer and they shoot it. The box explodes and then they shoot you. You have to go back and get the respawned box and do it again. Then do it about fifty more times if you live that long. Come on, I’m just trying to push a box! Quit screwing around!Name: Dancer
Game: Kingdom Hearts 2
Game: Kingdom Hearts 2
You can’t hit them because they’re always sliding around on the ground like jackasses. And they attack you by dancing… You heard me. They grab your arm, swing you around and fling you up in the air. Then it takes like three hours for you to fall back down. I don’t wanna dance dammit! Let me go assface! Dancer… what a stupid enemy.
Name: Murlock 
Game: World of Warcraft
Game: World of Warcraft
This is the reason why you can’t just explore in WoW. These stupid pieces of shit are everywhere like vermin. If you’re near water at all, you can’t go anywhere without running into an ass-load of murlock. There’s like a murlock village every five yards on the shoreline. Even if you’re swimming in the water, they’re out there too. I wish they’d all just die.
Name: Bombchu
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
Name: Bombchu
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask
I liked them better when they were a useable item. Does this look like 
something from a Zelda game? No, it looks like something out of a Ralph Steadman painting. These mouse things clatter around on the ground and if you go anywhere near them they come after you and explode. If you’re on your horse they can’t hurt you but if you’re on foot you’re screwed. You can’t outrun them; there are so many of them; and they respawn almost instantaneously.
something from a Zelda game? No, it looks like something out of a Ralph Steadman painting. These mouse things clatter around on the ground and if you go anywhere near them they come after you and explode. If you’re on your horse they can’t hurt you but if you’re on foot you’re screwed. You can’t outrun them; there are so many of them; and they respawn almost instantaneously.Name: Photosaurus
Game: Alone in the Dark 4: The New Nightmare
Game: Alone in the Dark 4: The New Nightmare
These things have *three* legs and like a five foot long tongue that they use to hurt you with. They have an aversion to light so you use your flash light to keep them away but you are usually dealing with two at once. It’s really hard to maneuver through a room while keeping two at bay because as soon as your flashlight beam leaves one of them for even a split second you get the tongue in the face. The good thing is if the room has a light switch you can hit that and they’re toast. But that’s not always an option. You can actually kill them with a weapon but it takes so much ammo. As I recall It took six shots with the triple-barreled shotgun. That’s 18 shells! You have three courses of action; waste ammo, waste health, or waste time.Name: Spider?
Game: Doom 3
Game: Doom 3
The spiders always appear when you least expect it. They crawl around and sometimes lunge at you. And you always have to fight like thirty of them in a
row coming from all sides. They come out of these little ducts in the wall and
they just keep coming. When I first fought them I
thought, *What, is there an infinite supply of these?
Am I supposed to just run? What the hell?!* Sometimes when you’re minding your own business like trying to open a weapons locker or something you’ll start getting hurt. You look around and don’t see anything. Well look down, it’s probably a spider… or twelve.
Name: Gremlin
Game: The Castlevania Series
Name: Gremlin
Game: The Castlevania Series
Since this is a side scroller, most of the enemies make one pass at you or go 
back and forth in their one little area. These things don’t do that. They get dropped off by these harpy things and then jump directly on top of you. Then they turn around and jump on you again and again and again. They will chase you for as far as they can and then some more harpies will come by to drop off more gremlins for you. It’s like running a gauntlet. You have a really hard time hitting something that moves in that pattern and if you ever get three on the screen like in the picture, you have no chance to survive. Make your time.
back and forth in their one little area. These things don’t do that. They get dropped off by these harpy things and then jump directly on top of you. Then they turn around and jump on you again and again and again. They will chase you for as far as they can and then some more harpies will come by to drop off more gremlins for you. It’s like running a gauntlet. You have a really hard time hitting something that moves in that pattern and if you ever get three on the screen like in the picture, you have no chance to survive. Make your time.Name: Ghost
Game: Silent Hill 4
Game: Silent Hill 4
The main reason these really suck is that they don’t die. There is no way you can get rid of them. They hassle you throughout the whole area that they are located 
and you just have to deal with it. One of them, (I think it was Jasper), can go anywhere in the level. This is worse than the stupid lakitu. They move pretty slow but some of them hurt you just from being in the general vicinity. You have to go beat them up to get any sort of break. What’s really great is when one is hurting you and you can’t even figure out where it is so you can‘t stop it. You can actually fix the ghosts in place with a sword of obedience but only three of them exist and there are like 20 ghosts.
and you just have to deal with it. One of them, (I think it was Jasper), can go anywhere in the level. This is worse than the stupid lakitu. They move pretty slow but some of them hurt you just from being in the general vicinity. You have to go beat them up to get any sort of break. What’s really great is when one is hurting you and you can’t even figure out where it is so you can‘t stop it. You can actually fix the ghosts in place with a sword of obedience but only three of them exist and there are like 20 ghosts.Name: Marlboro
Game: The Final Fantasy Series
Game: The Final Fantasy Series
There is no reason why you should ever try to fight one of these! They appear in random battles and have like three attacks. One of which is it’s favorite and incidentally the most annoying attack in the game. It’s called “bad breath.” The 
tentacle rape monster breathes on you and then all of your characters on screen have blind, confusion, poison, maybe sleep and God knows what else. The rest of the battle goes something like this: Since the characters are confused they attack at random without your consent. Likely it will be an ally but since they are blind they will probably miss but since they are poisoned they hurt themselves. You don’t even get to play anymore unless someone becomes unconfused but by that time you will have killed each other. All you do is watch your team die slowly and in the meanwhile the Marlboro gets to have it’s way with you. If you ever get ambushed by one of these, do yourself a favor and press the reset button. That’s how bad they are.
tentacle rape monster breathes on you and then all of your characters on screen have blind, confusion, poison, maybe sleep and God knows what else. The rest of the battle goes something like this: Since the characters are confused they attack at random without your consent. Likely it will be an ally but since they are blind they will probably miss but since they are poisoned they hurt themselves. You don’t even get to play anymore unless someone becomes unconfused but by that time you will have killed each other. All you do is watch your team die slowly and in the meanwhile the Marlboro gets to have it’s way with you. If you ever get ambushed by one of these, do yourself a favor and press the reset button. That’s how bad they are.Name: Fallen
Game: Devil May Cry 3
Game: Devil May Cry 3
I have just one complaint about these. They take two hours to kill! Fallen fly circles around you but they’re always facing you. They always come in pairs and have lances for weapons. Since they’re constantly flying around you they’re next to impossible to hit. Bullets don’t do anything and you can’t get them with a 
combo attack so you get to hit them once, (if you’re lucky), with every assault you make. The only semi reliable attack you can hit them with is a vertical sword chop. They also go through walls and when that happens you can’t hit them either. And also when you begin to fight them they have their wings folded over their body and you can’t hurt them at all. You have to beat their wings off and then you can theoretically hurt them; that is until they regenerate. That’s right, their wings regenerate after like a minute and then they are protected again. When you’re concentrating on one of them, the other one is always right behind you ramming it’s lance up your ass. It's frustrating and you want to just leave but you *have* to kill them or you can't progress. So if the fallen’s wings aren’t folded, it’s not in a wall, it’s not out of reach in some other way, you’re not sprawled out on the ground, and your accuracy is perfect you have a five second window where you can hurt them once. Then it’s only another 10 minutes until you can break their wings again and get another shot in. Have fun.
combo attack so you get to hit them once, (if you’re lucky), with every assault you make. The only semi reliable attack you can hit them with is a vertical sword chop. They also go through walls and when that happens you can’t hit them either. And also when you begin to fight them they have their wings folded over their body and you can’t hurt them at all. You have to beat their wings off and then you can theoretically hurt them; that is until they regenerate. That’s right, their wings regenerate after like a minute and then they are protected again. When you’re concentrating on one of them, the other one is always right behind you ramming it’s lance up your ass. It's frustrating and you want to just leave but you *have* to kill them or you can't progress. So if the fallen’s wings aren’t folded, it’s not in a wall, it’s not out of reach in some other way, you’re not sprawled out on the ground, and your accuracy is perfect you have a five second window where you can hurt them once. Then it’s only another 10 minutes until you can break their wings again and get another shot in. Have fun. 
