CLAMP School Detectives is a stupid anime adapted from a manga that I watched a long time ago. It’s about these three highly effeminate grade school boys that work as the school council at a school for geniuses. The one thing that kept me watching this show to the end is how ridiculously outlandish everything in it is. After I watched the whole series and deleted it off of my computer, I saved one episode, the most outrageously unbelievable one of all, episode ten.
It goes like this: Suoh is tired of Kaichou’s bullshit slacking in his council duties. He challenges him to a baseball match with a deal that if he wins, Kaichou has to finish his damn paperwork. And also for whatever reason, Suoh will be playing alone on his team and Kaichou’s team will be composed of kindergarten girls. Intrigued? Probably not. Well if you enjoy wasting your time, I recommend it…
Part 1
4:52 - Solt? What’s solt?
6:14 - Akira blushes seeing Utako ,(a girl.) Oh please, he’s the gayest one of the three.
7:15 - Suoh hits some balls pitched to him by a pitching machine into a bucket that’s about at shortstop length from home plate. Holy shit! If someone was actually able to do this they would be the best batter ever.
8:18 - Nagisa practices her swing. Yeah you’ll be in the major league in no time.
Part 2
1:45 - The concept of “invisible runners” is explained. Well that’s great, only a few problems like tagging an invisible runner, forcing out an invisible runner, an invisible runner stealing a base, and sacrifice bunting for an invisible runner.
4:22 - Suoh hit’s a fly ball and Kaichou gives a team member verbal commands where to run to and stand, thereby catching the ball. From that far away the two person’s perspectives of the ball would be completely different even if Kaichou was right behind his teammate giving the instructions it would still be a one in a thousand thing. Try throwing a ball to your friend and verbally guiding their movements to catch it, it’s stupid. And if it was that easy for Kaichou to get this girl to catch the ball just through instructions what does that say about *her* abilities?
4:54 - Announcer describes how Kaichou calculated the exact trajectory of the ball upon impact with the bat. BULLSHIT! That’s even more impossible than just eyeballing it.
5:15 - Suoh displays some really good pitching skills. And he’s also just as good at batting. Um… no. In reality pitchers have much lower batting averages because they devote most of their practice time to pitching.
6:00 - Kaichou strikes out. He can instantly calculate where a ball will land but he can’t hit it with a bat?
6:30 - Suoh shows some impressive fielding abilities. Do you know how impossible it would be to field an entire baseball field by yourself? Virtually every hit would be a homerun.
6:45 - More bullshit.
7:25 - Nagisa Gets a hit but trips over her bat. Luckily Suoh catches her. It takes anywhere from 1/2 to 2 seconds for someone to fall down. And you’re telling me that he sprinted from the pitcher’s mound to home plate within that timeframe?
Part 3
1:30 - Umpire yells “Batter outo! Game set!” Game set is what they say in sports like tennis, jackass.
3:03 - Kaichou is a bastard.
