My girlfriend bought me a deck of Shakespeare flashcards. Each one has a memorable quote of commentary from one of his plays. There is also a word missing from the quote. On the back of the card it has the missing word and the context of the quote. She started reading through the cards and of course we couldn’t get any right off the top of our heads. You pretty much have to already know the play. It’s not like you can infer anything from the Elizabethan sentence structure. You could insert any word and it’s an 80% chance that that’s a legitimate sentence. She read one that seemed ambiguously sexual and then said:
Her: “Elbows? I was thinking penis.”
Me: “Yeah, me too. Lets just insert the word penis into every quote.”
So here are my top ten favorite results of the above statement.
1. “Many a good [penis] prevents a bad marriage.”
---Twelfth Night
2. Octavius: “But he’s a tried and valiant soldier.”
Antony: “So is my [penis].” ---Julius Caesar
3. “There’s many a man hath more [penis] than wit.”
---The Comedy of Errors
4. “He has not so much brain as [penis].”
---Troilus and Cressida
5. “’Tis [penis] that doth oft make a woman proud; But God he knows, thy share is small.” ---King Henry VII
6. “Away you scullion! You rampallian! You frustilarian! I’ll tickle your [penis].”
---King Henry IV
7. “Thou wast born to be a [penis] to men.” ---King Henry VII
8. “To be slow in [penis] is a woman’s only virtue.”
---The Two Gentlemen of Verona
9. “Young men’s love… lies Not truly in their hearts, but in their [penis].”
---Romeo and Juliet
10. “Frailty, thy name is [penis]!” ---Hamlet
