WiiU
Once upon a time I loved Nintendo games. When I think 'beloved nostalgic video game' the first games to come to mind are Mario 64, Ocarina of Time, Pokemon Red and Link's Awakening. Those were the days. But then the next generation came along and suddenly there were three choices now: Xbox, Gamecube and PS2. I didn't really know where to go from there. I looked at the Nintendo Gamecube because Nintendo was all I'd ever known and it had been great so far. The console looked stupid, the controller looked stupid and there weren't any games that interested me. It's hard for me to know if at that point I grew out of Nintendo or Nintendo grew out of me. The continuation of my favorite games/franchises just didn't look appealing to me at all. Toon Link in Wind Waker looks like shit. Mario Sunshine is about washing things. For some reason, the fanboy parasite that had been implanted in my brain never flourished. I couldn't just buy a game simply because it had Mario or Link in it. Both of those games are fun... probably. But they look stupid/ugly so I don't want to play them. And that has been all I've thought about Nintendo since. The console looks stupid, the controller looks stupid and there aren't any games that interest me is exactly what I thought about the Gamecube, exactly what I thought about the Wii and exactly what I think about the WiiU.
Nintendo didn't do a big flashy press conference at E3 this year because they're idiots. They have a bad system launch with a weak line-up of games followed by mass confusion. Then a chance to set everyone straight arises with E3 and what do they do? Avoid the big stage. Yes, that will surely work things out. Good thinking, Nintendo. But I guess they didn't really have anything to show. They did some smaller Nintendo Direct thingies where they unveiled... a slough of underwhelming and predictable games everyone had already seen.
OH MY GOD! The WiiU is going to have Mario and Zelda on it? STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES! I guess I should just be impressed that it's going to get ANY games at all... even though it's not any time soon. You know what got people really excited? Megaman being confirmed in the new Super Smash Brothers about ten years too late. What's the matter? Did you finally run out of Mario characters so you have to resort to putting something of substance in now? This really shows how overrated and blown out of proportion SSB has become because people literally hang on Nintendo's every word when they're making a roster. Every time another character is confirmed, it generates as much if not more hype than if they announced a new game starring that character. It's just one big circle jerk and it's so pathetic that people shit themselves over this. I need to get a WiiU because Megaman is going to be on the roster of a game coming out in a year. Does that make any sense to you? Well it does if you're a retarded fanboy.
Why does Megaman look like a dwarf toddler? Isn't Megaman a... man? His N64 model looked better than this... And they still don't have Simon Belmont. It's like there was some kind of renaissance where they went through all their characters, (Megaman is Capcom but whatever,) and made them all look like shit for every game then on. They've zeroed in on the uncanny valley. I seriously just hate their style now because they can't seem to make anything that doesn't look stupid, ugly, infantile, or possesses even a shred of dignity except for maybe Metroid... which they didn't show.
Things that weren't Mario and Zelda included Bayonetta 2. A WiiU exclusive sequel that shouldn't exist to a game that was fucking stupid. The combat was top notch but everything else about it was fucking stupid. I know because I own it. The game sold bad and didn't make enough profit to spawn a sequel. Everything was exactly how it should be but then Nintendo decided for whatever reason, (probably because it's stupid and Bayonetta is repulsive,) that it was worth picking up.
You know what would have been interesting? Something actually new and refreshing made by Nintendo or just something unexpected. Nintendo unfortunately owns the rights to Fatal Frame now. They could theoretically make a Fatal Frame game where you use the stupid tablet controller as the viewfinder of the camera. Wouldn't that be something? No, it wouldn't because it's not Mario or Zelda.
I think I've finally figured out what Nintendo is doing and it kind of disturbs me. They're crippling themselves and it's on purpose. They're narrowing their scope to a critically small range to pinpoint a niche market of players... their own fans. Nintendo superfans. Yes, they're targeting people that are already brainwashed and loyal to their company. They cut out the rest of the potential market by not doing a press conference and they're pigeonholing their games by bailing out all of the third party developers and not focusing on any big new IPs. At this rate, the WiiU is just going to be a one trick pony Mario and Zelda box for their mindless fans that lack the capacity to care about anything else. If Sony's PS4 only had Infamous, God of War, Resistance, Little Big Planet, Uncharted and WipEout games, that would get pretty fucking stale and boring but it looks as thought that's what Nintendo is shooting for.
Assuming Xbox One stays delusional, this generation is only going to be one and a half consoles: The WiiU with only Nintendo Games and the PS4 with literally EVERYTHING else. Their presence at E3 consisted entirely of remakes, sequels and rehashes. Nintendo is the new Apple, once great but now stagnant and bricking itself into a corner with its cult of slaves.
