Deus Ex FAQ

1. Am I the weakest cyborg in the world?
2. Why does is take five hours to reload a weapon?
3. Why am I endlessly bombarded by key codes and passwords?
4. Can I just climb down the fucking ladder without falling to my death?
5. Aren’t tranquilizer darts supposed to tranquilize things, not enrage them?
6. Are these maps and satellite images a joke?
7. Where the fuck do I go?
8. Why does every person take like 10 rounds to kill regardless of the type of gun I‘m using?
9. Why does my handgun only hold six rounds?
10. Why do they send me on missions equipped with practically nothing except what I *buy* from them?
11. Why does every air duct, crawlspace, and ladder end directly in front of a soldier, security camera, or security bot?
12. Why is that helicopter talking to me?
13. And how did it fly from New York to Paris?
14. Why is sneaking around so boring, time consuming, impossible, and unrewarding?
15. Why is this game called “Deus Ex” and not “Lets Set Off the Alarm 500 Times?”
16. Why am I always presented with a quick and simple solution right after I do it the shitty hard way?
17. Is there actually a point to hiding bodies?
18. How are these one foot tall mutants so damn dangerous and hard to kill?
19. Why’s it next to impossible to get out of the water?
20. Why does everyone insist on talking to me while I’m being shot at?
21. How is this game still so awesome?

The End

Ladies and gentlemen; the zombie apocalypse is upon us…

Avon is Umbrella Corp. Board up your windows and grab your shotguns. The future is uncertain.

Avon Commercial