Wednesday, January 9, 2008

House Creatures

Well all of our pets died/disappeared so that means my family had to get a new generation of pets. (AKA one puppy and one kitten)

The puppy is the newer addition. It’s an Australian Shepard with fur white like snow, eyes as blue as the sky, and teeth like a motherfucking piranha. She lives in the kitchen and outside. Whenever you enter the kitchen she bounds out of the pantry tackles your feet and begins to bite them. Rest assured that this is going to occur for the entire duration of your stay in the room. She literally *will not* stop biting you until you leave. It’s occasionally punctuated by her trying to jump up on you or rip the cuffs off your pant legs but that’s about the zenith of interaction you’re going to achieve. This would be less annoying and a little more cute if it wasn’t so damn painful. You have to wear shoes if you go in the kitchen now but even then, her tiny teeth still go through and get your foot anyway. And not only that, she just starts biting your ankle. It’s not like she just wants something to chew on , she actually seeks out your vulnerable spot and bites it. She *wants* to hurt you.

There’s not even anything you can do to stop her either. Moving around makes it more fun for her. Staying still is a surefire way to get wounded. Kicking her away makes her do it more. I hope she grows out of this before she gets big enough to reach my face.

The cat has been around since before Thanksgiving. When I came home for break he avoided me at first but after everyone in the house went to sleep he would come into my room because I stay up late. He would hide under my bed and I could actually pet him sometimes. But since I came home for Christmas break he won’t give me the time of day and it pisses me off.



This is about as close as I can get to him before he runs away. (Yes
I’m aware of the resemblance to Ceiling Cat.) You can get closer if you aren’t male. (however that works) He’s constantly hiding and most of the time the only way you can tell he exists is by observing how much food is left in his dish. But then again that’s a variable because the stupid dog eats it too. What’s the point of having a cat if you can’t go anywhere near it? It’s a waste of money. I want companionship you bastard!

Recently I was given charge of the animals. Night came and it was raining so I brought the dog in. She basically lays right outside the door so she’s easy to find. The cat was there too, right next to the dog as a matter of fact. As I stipulated earlier, the dog is a sadistic maniac that no wants to be around. When I opened the door the dog ran in and the cat ran away. This leads me to ask the question, what does the cat think I could do to him that’s worse than what the dog is already doing to him? Unfortunately I was supposed to get the cat inside too. Fucking cat. You don’t have to let me touch you, just go in the house. After about ten minutes of *here kitty kitty* I finally got some food and lured him close enough to capture and bring in. I set him down and he promptly ran away under the staircase.

Can’t you get pets that are in between annoyingly violent and boringly reclusive?